はじめに
みなさんこんにちは!Saya(@l0vu4evr)です
今回は第6回目のIELTSWriting モデルエッセイのご紹介です。
Sayaの書いたモデルエッセイを初めてご覧になる方は
まずは「モデルエッセイの使い方」についての記事をご覧ください
今回のエッセイはIELTS-Blogで添削と採点を入れてもらったものです。
当時、私が提出したエッセイの状態での採点結果はOverall 6.5でした
Overall Estimated Band Score:6.5
1) Task achievement Coherence:7.0
2) Cohesion:7.0
3) Lexical resource:6.5
4) Grammar and Accuracy:6.0
今回の模範回答はIELTS-Blogで添削していただいたものを
添削に沿って訂正した上で提示いたしますので
Band7.0に到達している質であると想定しています。
課題 Model Essay 6
エッセイ(Written by Saya)
It is true that large shopping malls will attract more tourists which is the main benefit of constructing those buildings near to stations. Since tourists tend to spend higher money than residents, inviting more tourists to the cities will be rewarded with economic benefits. Of course, not only they would spend much money at shopping malls but they might also be the prospective customers at small restaurants or souvenir shops run by individual owners near to large shopping centers.
In contrast, the main disadvantage is cost. This applies not only in terms of the cost of building the malls but also requires the fees to compensate residents who are forced to move out from the current areas. Apparently, constructing shopping malls will reorganize the structure of the cities. Also, the investment costs for them are considerably higher than the benefits for the citizens. It can be another drawback that tourists might be concentrated in accessible shopping malls while other destinations will suffer from a lack of tourists.
In conclusion, the idea of building shopping malls nearby the main stations will benefit cities by increasing the number of tourists who spend much money while the main drawback is the high cost of building those shopping malls. Therefore, it is essential for decision-makers to understand both views when considering the planning of large shopping malls. (265words)
Task2で使いやすいフレーズ
it is becoming a trend
- become a trend : 〜の傾向となる
(ex)It is becoming a trend to wear long skirts at schools.
(学校で長いスカートを履く傾向が出てきている)
reward with〜
- reward with :〜で報いる
(ex) I am rewarded my efforts with extra points.
(私の努力は追加点で報われた)
not only A but also B
- not only A but also B:A だけでなくBも
(ex) This city has not only developed but also increased its population.
(この市は発展しただけでなく、人口も増加した)
In contrast
- In contrast:対照的に
(ex) In contrast to the western perspective, ~
(西洋の見方とは対照に〜)
descision-makers
- descision-makers:決定権のある人
The desicision-makers have the power to make the final judgement.
(最終決定は、決定権のある方に委ねられている)
おまけのIELTSポイント
IELTSモデルエッセイリスト
最後に、モデルエッセイの一覧です!
まずは、自分で解いてみて、私のエッセイと比較してみてください。
私の視点は、今後のアイディアのストックとして使っていただければ、光栄です。
- 【模範解答】IELTS Task2 Band 7.0 Model Essay1
- 【模範解答】IELTS Task2 Band 7.0 Model Essay2
- 【模範解答】Task2 IELTS Band 7.0 Model Essay3
- 【模範解答】Task2 IELTS Band 7.0 Model Essay4
- 【模範解答】IELTS Task1 Band 7.0 Model Essay5
- 【模範解答】IELTS Task2 Band7.0 Model Essay6
- 【模範解答】IELTS Task1 Band7.0 Model Essay7
- 【模範解答】IELTS Task1 Band7.0 Model Essay8




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