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【模範解答】Task2 IELTS Band 7.0 Model Essay3ーWritten by Sayaー

model essay3IELTS対策

はじめに

みなさんこんにちは!Saya(@l0vu4evr)です

今回は第3回目のIELTSWriting モデルエッセーのご紹介です。

Sayaの書いたモデルエッセーを初めてご覧になる方は

まずは「モデルエッセーの使い方」についての記事をご覧ください

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed. Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

エッセー (Written by Saya)


The smoking population is numerous. Some people insist that prohibiting smoking in public areas is the best measure to reduce the number of smokers while others think that there should be several approaches needed to combat this matter. This essay will discuss two views and state why I think other measures are necessary.

On the one hand, removing smoking areas from public areas can reduce smoking opportunities. This measure will force smokers to stay away from cigarettes. In Japan, many public establishments have prohibited smoking indoors. Then, as a result, it is reported that many of them succeeded in reducing the number of cigarettes. This exemplifies that depriving smoking opportunities of smokers is the most essential measure to tackle the problem.

On the other hand, others argue that cigarette addiction is serious that several approaches are required to decrease the smoking population. Scientifically, cigarettes contain an addictive substancecalled nicotine. To stop smoking permanently, smokers have to take adequate medical treatments to make their bodies free from nicotine. In some countries, there are hospitals which are specialized in helping smoking patients. In these hospitals, not only do doctors teach how detrimental cigarettes are to the human body, but they also control patients’ nicotine levels. Addiction cannot just be tackled by smokers’ efforts. They need professionals to assist them.

In conclusion, this essay has discussed both opinions on whether banning public areas into non-smoking is enough to reduce the number of smokers or not. While some believe this measure is beneficial because it will deprive smoking opportunities of smokers, others think smoking is addictive and that professional support is essential. Personally, I agree with the perspective that medical treatment is needed to decrease the number of smokers because addiction is one of the symptoms.

293 words

よく使えるフレーズ

stay away from 〜

  • stay away from ~ : 近づけない

(ex) Please stay away from the wasps!

(スズメバチから離れて!)

public establishments

  • public establishments: 公共の施設

(ex) That ceremonial hall is a public establishment.

(あの式場は、公共の施設です)

cigarette addiction

  • cigarette addiction: タバコ依存

(ex) It is better to stop smoking, otherwise, you might suffer from cigarette addition.

(タバコはやめた方がいいですよ。そうでないと、タバコの依存症に苦しみますよ。)

cigarette addictionはnicotine dependence とリフレーズすることもできます。

addictive substance

  • addictive substance : 常駐性薬物

(ex) Drugs contain addictive substances.

(麻薬には常駐性薬物が含まれている。)

detrimental

  • detrimental : 有害な

(ex) The over consumption of sugar is detrimental to our health.

(砂糖の過剰摂取は、健康に有害である。)

detrimentalはとても便利な単語です。健康、環境、教育、などのトピックなんでも使い回しできます!おすすめ単語です。

deprive A of B~

  • deprive A of B ~ :AからBを奪う

(ex) My mother deprived me of my free time.

(私の母は、私の自由時間を奪った。)

「〜から〜を奪う」と和訳するので、deprive A fromB と間違えがちですが、ofが正解なので注意して使いましょう!

おまけのIELTSポイント

今回のエッセーは300words近いので、本番であれば、長すぎるかな〜という印象です。IELTSは文章が長ければいいというわけではなく、しっかりとした採点項目があり、その項目に沿って、文章が書けているかどうか?がポイントです。

そう考えると、270 wordsくらいを狙うのがベストです。

また、「250words以上書くこと」は必須です。

ワード数の上回りすぎは、減点にはなりませんが、下回ることは減点対象です。下回ってしまった場合は、Band1.0まで落ちるペナルティーも覚悟しておくべきです。

では、どんな文章がいい文章なの?と疑問に思った方は・・・

【IELTS Writing】文章の一貫性は5つの場所がポイント!

をどうぞ!

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